3rd
so i wrote a huge post, but deleted it. i don’t know why, but i just didn’t feel like you needed to hear another “i’m depressed and so i’m gonna write about it and bring everyone down with me” post. cause i’m not like depressed. i’m just not as happy as i should be. i mean, i’m doing okay in school, i now own a townhouse, my roommate is almost never here, you and him are coming home in less than a week, and saturday is going to be the best day of our lives. i mean i SHOULD be happy. but for some reason, i have this feeling. it’s like something is holding me back from achieving maximum “happy”. i have no idea what it is, but i almost feel guilty for it. i would talk to you about it if i could, but i can’t even describe it to myself so how am i supposed to explain it to you? maybe things will change friday when you get home and STAY there for a while. maybe things will feel “right” when he’s no longer 7 hours away. or maybe they won’t.
but what do i know? i just sit here and hope things fall into place instead of doing anything about it. fuck.
